I used to revel in the fact that I was smarter than my brothers.
I remember, very clearly, laughing to myself while upstairs in my room reading, because my older brother was downstairs filling his brain with nonsense video games. Me, just upstairs getting all knowledgeable and shit. This brought great joy into my life.
I was also brought a bit of sorrow when I thought about how I would probably have to support him financially and/or spiritually as we got older. Me probably working two jobs as a result of my smart brain, and him creating his 800th Sims mansion most likely.
As it turns out, my older brother is in fact a super genius and it also turns out the internet and technology is kind of a big thing, and those countless hours of Counterstrike and years of LAN parties (what the fuck you guys) set him up for a great deal of success in his adult life.
However, one thing that I will be able to hang over his head until the end of time is the night we set my bed on fire (gypsy role playing accident) and I was the one with enough wits about me to inform the adults that my beloved kitten duvet cover was being engulfed in flames. He, at the time, stood there stuttering because he was too polite and too scared to interrupt my parents who were in the middle of an adult conversation. He also had a mullet. So what I think we can take away from this is the fact that in that moment in time I was smart and he was dumb and I basically saved all of our lives that evening.
As for my younger, well I was just smarter than him by default. Because that's how that works right? Just kidding Brenty. You're a fucking genius with Instagram. Seriously though, he has hundreds of followers.
Want to know how to make sugar cookies? I'm a wiz at transitions.
This is the only sugar cookie recipe I use because it was created by angels in heaven. But you must (must!) refrigerate the dough overnight. As a Grade A procrastinator, you should know that I have tried to get around this many times only to fail miserably, get pissed, and immediately go turn on the TV where I take out my anger on an innocent Real Housewife. I also try to put the baking sheet in the fridge for 5 to 10 minutes before going into the oven because it helps them keep their shape and I also like to draw out this process as long as possible apparently.
The amount of baking powder is slightly less than most other recipes, and this is because it helps maintain the shape of the cookies once they've been cut. This doesn't matter so much with round cookies, but for other shapes it's incredibly helpful.
My favorite sugar cookies
Makes 24 cookies
3/4 cup unsalted butter
1 cup white sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1. In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar until smooth.
2. Beat in eggs and vanilla.
3. Stir in the flour, baking powder, and salt.
4. Cover with plastic wrap and chill in the fridge for 24 hours <-- important
5. Preheat oven to 400F.
6. Roll out dough on floured surface 1/4- to 1/2-inch thick. Cut into shapes with cookie cutter.
7. Place cookies 1-inch apart on parchment-lined sheet.
8. Bake 5 to 6 minutes (or until slightly golden on the bottom). Cool completely. Enjoy!